Mustaches ‘n Angels

So I realize that life’s hard. People are plagued with many inefficiencies such as asthma, wheelchair-bound, and the inability to grow proper facial hair. I belong in the third category. And yes, it really is embarassing as a 24 year old man who can do little more than go to a store and buy a fake mustache to look presentable when going out into public.

What drives the buggy of my life is my whole-hearted faith that if i do good, then I will become an angel. BUT… is it really worth becoming an angel if I don’t get to be able to do the things that I’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t during my life on earth? I WANT A REAL MUSTACHE DAMMIT! Wouldn’t it be nice if people were rewarded with a big, burly mustache once they reach the afterlife?  And if not a mustache, what would you want?

Wouldn't it be 'sextacular'?

Talk to me

“I was ready to die. I popped the pills and laid down feeling the overdose coming… but you know what? The morning surely came and I had to face life again.”

“Wait… who’s Shirley?”

Conversations like this happen EVERY day and we can’t do anything more than explain what we mean WITH MORE WORDS!
Words betray us. So do our minds. Our minds gladly take these words and apply the wrong context to them. Words are tricky  enough already as they typically come packaged with more than one meaning AND on top of that you’ve to go into connotations which are affected by everyday life and regional differences. So why do we still continue to use the English language when it simply has become much too confusing? I say scrap this language and together we can create a new universal language. Tolkien did that with elven. Elven’s actually a much more efficient language for the sake of expressing yourself. Unfortunately during the time he presented his ideas, he had to hide it as a story because it was ILLEGAL to speak anything in a language foreign to the queen of England. Now is the time that we use our freedom of speech to do something better for ourselves and create a newer, efficient language–we can’t use Tolkien’s Elvish unfortunately, it’s much too nerdy.

So in the end, this is my idea that I present. We create a new efficient language that isn’t full of double/triple/etc. meaning that may very well globalize. And we will make damn sure that it’s not going to sound nerdy!

Presenting Myself… At a Party

I came through the door and into a hallway. There were probably two people in this hallway. And this is how I start my frat party experience…

I later end it with free food. What happens in between? Beer, chanting, and people talking about the likes of Foucault and Chomsky. Now I’d like to say two things: 1) I can definitely do without chanting, and 2) Philosophy’s cool but music’s cooler. This leads us to our main point of this post: Why are we discussing philosophy when we can’t even carry on a decent conversation of an amazing band such as The Soda Pop Kids? E.g.:

Me: So yeah, they had a badass argument, they were brilliant, but… you into the Soda Pop Kids?

Anyone Else At The Party: Who are they?

M: Only one of the most essential bands in the Portland punk scene since the Riffs!

AEATP: Eh?

M: Are you serious?

AEATP: What’s Portland?

As you can see this lack of interest in music has led to some of the greatest barriers of communication between humans throughout history. If Hitler would’ve understood that the Jews actually collectively did a pretty-damn-rockin’ cover of Frank Sinatra’s “Fly Me to the Moon” he probably would’ve never harmed a single Jew. Unfortunately the musical connection didn’t exist because Hitler was, in fact, one of those ignorant philosophical-but-non-music-loving types. In the end, I just want to clear up this post by saying: If you ain’t into discussin’ music, you’re probably into some sick shit.

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